Starting a business during a pandemic & finding ME

Just reading the title it doesn't sound like the greatest of ideas, right? But for me it was exactly what I needed.

Lots of people found themselves picking up new hobbies, rediscovering beloved pastimes and finding things to simply make it through the days especially during the pandemic and subsequent lockdowns. For me, the experience of the pandemic wasn't a negative one.

Ok, before you scoff or think I must be lying, take into account when the 'Corona Virus' first came onto the scene I was 6 months pregnant with my 3rd, just finished a summer semester of uni (while struggling with brutal 'morning sickness') and my eldest had not long started prep. Along with these big events in our lives my husband was still working FIFO and our home undergoing the longest renovation known to man - seriously, it's still dragging after starting nearly 7 years ago.

For someone who has, for many years been on the ride of anxiety, being forced to lay low and not see anyone or go anywhere, was welcomed. I didn't even mind that when I birthed our baby boy, Lincoln, no-one was able to come to the hospital and meet him those first 4 nights. Now, was I a little teary and emotional that my two older children had to wait to see their baby brother in the flesh? Yes. But did I drink in every quiet moment with just 1 delicious newborn, food being delivered to me like clockwork (and having room-service available for treats like cake & coffee!) and having zero washing to do? You better believe I did!

Linc is born 6/6/2020

Fast forward to Linc clicking over 6months old and this is where I started to notice my emotions shifting and sometimes even feeling like they didn't exist at all. I found moments where I KNEW I was lucky and my children were the best thing since sliced bread but I just didn't FEEL it. I didn't feel anything. I felt empty. That's when I knew I needed to speak up.

Lincoln, the bonus baby who shook up our lives.

I bought up my concerns with my husband who was entirely supportive and understanding. He didn't once make me feel guilty or ashamed of what I was feeling but urged me to speak to my GP and start seeing a psychologist. I didn't hesitate about seeking help like I had in the past, believing I could manage my emotions on my own. I knew I had 3 little boys who depended on me and deserved the best version of their mummy. 

Throughout my 'recovery' I guess you'd call it (though my mental health is still something that is very much a work in progress like most who have experienced depression and anxiety), I worked hard at finding things that made me feel like 'me' again. The role of a mum is all consuming sometimes. Especially those early days when bub is so reliant on you, when sleep is at an all time low and in my situation breastfeeding an allergy baby, my body isn't mine and the food I put in is micromanaged. 

Breastfeeding baby Lincoln at 6months old

I have always been a creative. In high school, I decided I didn't need good marks because I was going to be an actress. Theatre specifically. My favourite subjects in school included drama, film & television, graphics and of course, art.

In my late teens I discovered a graphic design program called, CorelDraw. I ended up teaching myself the basics of the program and eventually in my early 20's one of my job roles included use of Corel. Upon having kids I designed announcements, invites and birthday posters. I always loved playing around this the program, fumbling my way through and learning as went.

It wasn't until my Aunty sent me a link for  'LadyStart Up' business course that I decided maybe I could turn something I loved doing into a business. Just maybe I could create something to make me feel like ME again and ignite that passion which had been buried under nappies, sleepless nights and cracked nipples. TMI?

Vision board for my business created back in Feb 2021

It's not been an easy road starting a business in a pandemic, but I don't think that would be any different if I had started it at any other time. I think when you decide to start any business you can't look at it as wanting to make life easy or to make a heap of money, as neither of those are realistic especially in your first year. It takes a lot of money, time, energy, blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul to start a business but what it does do? - It has given me deep pride, a broadened knowledge of the world, appreciation for others in business, new friends and connections, heightened goals, new achievements, ignited passion and ME. I have found myself again while discovering new parts of who I am and who I am becoming.

Remember to always shoot for the stars.

Big love,

Steph x